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Celebration is a trademark aspect of gay culture around the world. Mardi Gras
in Sydney, Southern Decadence in New Orleans, The White Party in Miami, Black
& Blue in Montreal and the dozens of gay pride celebrations that take place
annually in the four corners of the world are all examples of traditions that
the gay community has created for itself.
Whether or not you participate in any of these events, you must appreciate them
as traditions because it can undeniably be said that from nothingness, the gay
community has created commercially viable, exciting and consistently recurring
events that attract flocks of fans both gay and straight, which is the very
essence of a tradition. Don't kid yourself, New York's Gay Pride Parade is every
bit as much a Manhattan tradition as the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade only
a bit more colorful and less wholesome perhaps.
As the holidays roll around, it is important for all of us in the gay community to remember to create our own traditions with the same verve with which we have created our own signature celebrations at other times during the year. For too many in our community, the holidays are a painful and lonely time because of feelings of dissociation with the symbols of the holidays.
However creating our own symbols and traditions for the season is the sweetest medicine for that kind of pain. So with that I introduce you to what I call The Holigays. The holigays are your chance to have a gay ol' time connecting with friends old and new, rehashing old memories and creating new ones through your own unique celebrations. After all, 'tis the very season to be gay. All the songs even say so.
So deck the halls my darlings, hang the mistletoe and fling open your doors for there is no better time than the present to entertain and share with close friends and relations.
Over the years I've attended my fair share of fabulous holigay gatherings and along the way discovered many stylish ways of celebrating the holigays. Here are some of what I consider to be the most essential elements of a successful holigay event.
Good cocktails are like good fashion. The core never changes, but the presentation does. As you think about your holigay party or gathering, take a moment to seek out an interesting cocktail you can serve. Instead of traditional old, boring old eggnog, why not serve Bellinis or create a multicolored Martini using grenadine and hint of creme de menthe. Or simply take Oprah's recommendation for pear champagne, which pairs champagne with pear cognac, a splash of Grand Marnier and a thin slice of pear. Sounds tres festive non?
If creating a cocktail sounds like too much work, just get some fun, colored glassware, pour a traditional cocktail like a Cosmopolitan into it, throw in a few cranberries, name it something cute like an X-tini and watch your cocktails be transformed into something otherworldly.
Some of my favorite holigay affairs have all shared in common an interactive element that I look forward to participating in with the celebrants each year. Whether its a simple tree trimming party where friends bring ornaments for your tree, an ornament making party where you set up craft tables and have your guests make ornaments, a potluck where everyone brings their favorite dishes or a sexy secret Santa gift exchange game, make the most of your Holigay party by mixing it up with your guests and giving them a reason to interact. Remember that most of us spend more time than we'd care to admit standing and posing during the calendar year, so the opportunity to let down our guard in an intimate, interactive and sharing environment is a welcome and winning change that will earn both you and your holigay celebration kudos throughout the year.
It's no secret that we all love gifts. It's also no secret that we all really love gifts that we actually like. Make your holigay function special by sending your guests home with a special memory from your affair in the form of a gift. I find the best gifts to be the ones that are made by the hosts. A tin of homemade cookies, a basket of homemade fudge, a special holigay ornament or individual, thoughtful small gifts for each guest are a great way of making your guest feel oh-so-very special, while also allowing you to bask in the joy of giving.
Which brings me to my final and most important point. However you choose to mark the season that is upon us, do it with love - love for yourself, love for those around you who support and care for you, love for your community and love for humanity. And while, as always, the style in which you celebrate the season matters, the best holigay celebrations are about the heart and the beauty of the experience of sharing life's journey.
Happy Holigays!
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